I need to find my words. I’ve officially lost my words…
How am I going to explain and/or review The Man I Love by Suanne Laqueur without my words? I’m going to try my best folks so just work with me here.
I am going to get a wee bit messy, but not too much. I’m still going to keep it pretty too.
First a word for the author….
You never got over it. You just left it
College freshman Erik Fiskare loves the theatre, but he’s more intrigued by the wizardry behind the red curtain than the spectacle center stage. That is, until Daisy Bianco steps into the spotlight. The moment Erik lays eyes on this ballerina, his atoms rearrange and the young stagehand will never be the same.
For two years, the romance thrives within a tight-knit circle of artists and friends. Then, a newcomer arrives–James, a brilliant but erratic dancer with a misguided infatuation and a burning desire to belong.
The consequences of an ill-fated love affair set a course for destruction and Erik’s world is torn apart. He clings to Daisy, but he soon discovers that in the face of heartache, grief and betrayal, love is not always enough. And sometimes, it’s everything.
Suanne Laqueur’s award-winning debut novel presents the dark side of devotion and the futility of running from the past. The Man I Love is an emotional journey of love and forgiveness that will linger long after the last page is turned.
Now it’s time to get messy while keeping it a wee bit pretty….
This book is told from the 3rd person but it is all from Erik, our hero.
Erik is a guarded person who just like everyone else wants to be loved and adored although it was never too show how to accomplish that. After his father leaving without a word when he was 8 years old, Erik built an invisible wall around his heart. He was open to letting those walls down one day when he came across the right person. He believed that when the right girl came along he would know.
Luckily for him, he would met this girl as a freshman in college….
Along came Daisy….
Erik met Daisy at his university theater where his worked on the production crew. Daisy is a very talented and beautiful ballerina. Erik is immediately drawn to her and her to him. It was truly love at first sight, if believe in that sort of thing. I don’t normally believe but Daisy and Erik changed my mind.
Daisy was Erik’s safe place, a place where there was no judgement, only understanding. She was his shoulder to lean on and someone to share his pain with.
He was able to open up and talk about his dad leaving….
“That is,” she said slowly, “such a violent thing. For a parent to disappear. Emotionally violent. It just stops a story dead in the middle. Like you turn the page and there are no more pages. What do you do with the story.”
He shrugged one shoulder. “It becomes a different story.”
She nodded. “Your story.”
They were perfect for each other, maybe even made for one another.
And along came James, a new guy who transferred from another school who entered the ballet program. James never seemed “quite right” you know. Something was just off with him. Not to mention he was in love with Erik’s best friend and roommate, Will. Overtime it became apparent to James that Will could not love him in return and things started falling apart.
And then shit hit the fan…
It’s crazy how one day everything in fine, life is beautiful and the next day your entire wold changes.
Daisy and Eric experienced this all to well when James, who they were once friends with shoots up their university theater during a dress rehearsal for an upcoming concert.
….She could be dead. And that pulled Erik out from under the console because if Daisy were dead, his life was over as well. He didn’t go out of the booth to stop James. He went out to see if he was going to die today.
OMG, this just wrecked me! I mean completely wrecked me! My feelings…
To Erik his life meant nothing without Daisy and the thought of facing the world without her was impossible. But Erik had a coin that James gave to him one day stating it was “the best of him.”
“This is yours,” Erik said. “This is the best of you and you gave it to me. I had it in my pocket. I didn’t forget.”
James licked his lips, staring down into Erik’s hand.
“The best of me is on the stage,” Erik said, tilting his head. “And I’m going there. She needs my best and I need to be in her pocket. Do you understand?”
Now that is love let me tell ya. To walk into your possible death to get to the woman you love. Not every man would make that choice. But to Erik it was never a choice it wasn’t even an option – it was want had to be done. Not everyone is lucky enough to be loved that way, so deeply and completely.
Daisy was shot and had a long and difficult recover but Erik never left her side, he supported her through the entire ordeal.
And then everything changed, again….Daisy cheats on Erik with their friend David. He even had the great pleasure to find them in bed together. Ain’t that about a bitch.
She needed the pain Erik wouldn’t give her anymore.
He was useless to her.
She went to get it from David. Worse than letting love her, she’d let David hurt her. She’d betrayed both Erik’s love and Erik’s pain.
When she cheated on him my heart dropped, my heart broke and my soul was destroyed. I wanted to smack the shit out of her. After everything Erik did for her! You got to be fucking kidding me!!! How could she?!?! Bitch! Yeah that’s right, I called her a bitch! What would you call her?….sweetheart, baby, babe….fuck that! She betrayed him! She not only cheated on him but she fucked their friend – the same friend who had been wanting her for years. Bitch!
So what did Erik do?
….he packed his shit and he left. After he beat David’s ass of course!
Now if you have read my other reviews (which I hope you have) you know that I don’t feel like you should throw a relationship away for cheating all the time. Everything is circumstantial. On one hand they were both young and dealing with some heavy shit as far as the shooting and didn’t know how to express it properly. On the other hand, they have been through so much shit as far as the shooting goes that she should have been better than that. She should trusted Erik enough to to him and express whatever she needed to in order to work through whatever it was that made her jump into David’s bed.
In this case, I would have left too.
I won’t go into great detail as the what happened after they broke up, you can read the book for that. But I will say Erik’s struggled and he broke my heart.
I have a side note again…
When he announced to Kees (ballet instructed where he met Daisy who happened to be black) that he married a black woman….
“You sound like my ex-wife.” Erik states.
“She sounds like a smart lady.” Kees states.
“She’s black.” Kees’s nostrils flared. “And? What, are we brothers now or something?”
Erik’s face burned. “Sorry.”
I almost died! LOL! LOL! I don’t know why white people like to announce they dated and/or married a black person like it’s a big deal with us. Like it will score you brownie points or something. Funny shit!!!
Sorry about that…. Now back to my review….
When do you go from the one who needs to forgive to the one who needs forgiving? After so many years of avoiding and ignoring Daisy without explanation, did Erik need to be forgiven for never speaking with her as well? Fuck if I know.
The Man I Love was completely Erik so I have no idea what was going on in Daisy’s head but I look forward to learning in the next book, Give Me Your Answer True – from Daisy’s POV. Until then I can only go off of what Erik felt. But I can say no matter what, Erik had a right to grieve the way he did, no one can make that choice for him.
No one can tell another person how to grieve or how long they can be upset for. Did Erik wait too long before he went to Daisy? I don’t know, maybe. It’s a hard question to answer. I have no business making someone think just like me.
This story is so complex it’s hard to answer some questions as to what was right and what was wrong. Everyone has to come to their own opinion about it. I recommend that you read the book and find the answers for yourself.
The only reason I didn’t give this book 5 stars is because it is told in the 3rd person and I’m not a fan of that.
So now I’m going to clean up my mess and get pretty again. Until next time! TTYL!