I don’t really know what I expected when I started this book, I just wanted to just read a book to calm myself after a stressful day at work. No matter the case, I really enjoyed this one.
Silenced by Leddy Harper was just what I needed, it was sweet and rough all at the same time. She woke such a beautiful love story and I’m way too happy to share my review ya!
I’m going to make this one very pretty, so if you were looking for messy I’ll make it up to you soon.
Let’s hear what the author has to say…
As a young child, Killian Foster survives the unimaginable. Silenced and scarred, he keeps to himself, spending his time with his notebook in the woods behind his aunt’s house.
Until Rylee Anderson…
When Rylee spots Killian hopping over a fence next door, she follows him, unprepared for the boy she’d find—or the relationship that would unfold over the next seven years.
Or the silence that would follow.
Fighting between the hate of his past and the promise of his future, Killian must make choices—ones that would affect more than himself. Choices that would test the lines of right and wrong. Decisions that could break the bond of the only love Killian knew.
Hate or love.
Revenge or forgiveness.
Silence or his voice.
We all have scars, some internal where no one can see and others on the outside for the world to see. Killian has both. He has permanent wounds on the outside that anyone who looks at him can see but it’s the internal ones are where his real damage lies. Part of that pain also becomes apparent when Killian refuses to talk to anyone, ever. He just goes radio silent for years. I literally feel his pain seeping through the pages.
When he was only 8 years old he watched his parents being murdered and that changed him as it would do anyone else. Throughout the book you see this broken child through each and every part of who he is, even as an adult.
Rylee was everything you could want in a best friend and lover. She was caring, giving, understanding, loyal and non-judgemental. Rylee never asked Killian for anything he wasn’t willing to offer. Their relationship was pure. Rylee was Killian’s calm in that head of where so much pain lived. The honest friendship that they build is breathtaking and I was in awe. It was astonishing watching these two grow together. It’s the kind of love and friendship we all dream for but most of us never find.
They met as children, fell in lust as teenagers and fell in love they grew up together. It doesn’t get any better than that. Killian knew from the beginning that his forever was with Rylee, there were no if, and’s, or but’s about it. There was no Killian if there was no Rylee.
As Killian grew up he only communicated through writing so he carried around a notebook and pen whenever he went. When the two of them met, they literally get to know each other through paper. Kind of like us book lovers. Rylee never pushed for him to share his voice with her, but when he did… OMG! I wanted to cry myself. I felt like he had spoken to me.
Their conversations were just the cutest when they were growing up.
Have you ever kissed anyone before?
“No. Some of my friends have. But I haven’t. Have you?”
No. But sometimes I want to kiss you.
“Sometimes I want to kiss you, too.”
Is it bad if we kiss?
“I don’t think so.”
Then maybe someday I’ll kiss you. As long as you’re not grossed out by what I told you.
As their love grew, so did Killian’s inner demons, until one day those demons made him leave her, for five fucking years. I was so fucking livid with Killian for doing that to her. I wanted to smack the shit out of him.
After everything they went through and all the love that they shared for him to just up and leave one day. It was bullshit. And when they found each other again Killian at least realized that he could never leave Rylee again, but she wasn’t sure if her heart could take that risk again, but Rylee wasn’t trying to hear that shit.
“Too much time has passed, too much has happened between us. You hurt me too much. There’s no going back. Maybe had you come back a year ago…two, three years ago. But you didn’t. It’s too late now.” – Rylee
“You said you never wanted the next day to come. Well…congratulations, Killian. You stole the moon. You took it with you and left me with nothing be endless days without you. Time stood still, just like you wanted. Except instead of trapping us together, you left me alone.” – Rylee
Repairing a love that deep is no easy task and a huge part of me wondered the entire book if they could come back from that. I was just happy this book was done from both character’s POV, otherwise I don’t think I would have been able to fully understand Killian’s view of this. The man runs deep. Like really, really deep.
Their honesty to one other amazed me. I often find myself getting irritated with character’s when their drama could be easily fixed if someone just told the damn truth. In this book, the truth was always on the table, there were no secrets, which made Killian and Rylee’s love story so painful to read sometimes. I found myself thinking, “Well, if you didn’t tell them that you wouldn’t be in this situation.” But in the end it was that honesty and unfiltered acknowledge of their love that made me fall in love them more and more.
Killian loved the shit out of Rylee. No matter what he did to her, you knew that. That’s what made it so hard to be mad at him for his stupid choices and actions. Men are stupid – that’s a fact that no one can deny. Saying “I’m sorry” for the stupid shit you do doesn’t fix anything. As much as Killian loved Rylee, he hurt her just as much. The man who left her her 5 years ago looked nothing like the man who had returned.
“I’m sorry – “
“Don’t you dare apologize to me like one word could possibly make up for the years I had to face without you. I finally got to a point where I wasn’t dying, where I no longer felt like I was drowning in the pain of your absence. And here you are, bringing everything back. Bringing all the hurt to my front door. Well, no more, Killian. I won’t let you destroy me again.”
When they spoke to each other, I swear I felt like I was standing right there next to them feeling all of the pain they felt. That’s some amazing writing right there. Yeah…Leddy did her shit with this one. Hats off to you ma!
I like second chance romance books if they are done right. I’m not big on that whole – let me forgive them really quickly kind of thing or let me forgive a complete asshole kind of shit either. Silenced was neither of those. Killian did make an asshole move but Killian was broken and for good reason. His thought process was all fucked up. To him, he did Rylee a favor and even though we know he didn’t, knowing him helps you understand his frame of mind.
Rylee was so strong in such a quiet way. She wasn’t loud with her statements but her statements had huge impacts. I just adored everything about her and she was truly made for Killian.
This scene killed me…
“You’re killing me. Breaking me. I never thought in a million years, even after you walked away, that you’d be the one to smother the life out of me.” A hiccup got stuck in my chest. “You don’t love me, Killian. If you did, you never would’ve gone after them. You never would’ve believed you needed to get revenge in order to be whole. You’ve had your voice this entire time. They didn’t take it from you. You’re the one who silenced yourself.”
I felt that conversation in my soul. I felt like I was walking in on a very personal moment that I wasn’t allowed to be apart of.
Reading this review might seem like I gave away the story line but trust me, I didn’t. Their story goes way beyond the few paragraphs here. I am recommending this book to those book lovers who like a little anguish but not too much and a beautiful HEA.
I told you I wasn’t going to get messy.