For me, writing 3 STAR reviews are the hardest. On one hand, it wasn’t so shit that I put it down, but it also wasn’t so great that I want to relive the moments I spent reading it.
Beach Read by Emily Henry had all the fixing for a 5 STAR romance book but it fell short for me.
I can’t promise I won’t be to messy because I’m not sure what I’m going to write because I don’t plan my reviews. I just start typing and see what happens. I do have a feeling that it won’t be pretty.
First a word for the author. . .
Augustus Everett is an acclaimed author of literary fiction. January Andrews writes bestselling romance. When she pens a happily ever after, he kills off his entire cast.
They’re polar opposites.
In fact, the only thing they have in common is that for the next three months, they’re living in neighboring beach houses, broke, and bogged down with writer’s block.
Until, one hazy evening, one thing leads to another and they strike a deal designed to force them out of their creative ruts: Augustus will spend the summer writing something happy, and January will pen the next Great American Novel. She’ll take him on field trips worthy of any rom-com montage, and he’ll take her to interview surviving members of a backwoods death cult (obviously). Everyone will finish a book and no one will fall in love. Really.
It just freaking hit me right now. One of the main reasons I couldn’t connect with this story is because our leading lady, January is a Karen in the making. She was so whiny and judgemental. She always found it easy to justify her bias. I seriously just had a light bulb moment.
One time she went into a bookstore and was deeply upset because they didn’t know who she was and there were no copies of her book. I’m like, “Girl, get the fuck over yourself.”
She wasn’t a full out Karen yet, there’s still hope that she can change ways. At only twenty-nine years old I’m not ready to give up on her.
January gave me flashbacks of the girls you see in bathroom drunk at a club. You know the ones that are always crying over some guy and then twenty minutes later you see them all hugged up on the same person they were just balling their eyes out over. Yeah, that was January’s vibe to me.
Why, you might ask. Well let me tell you. The girl had the really annoying habit of manifesting drama in her head without a shred of proof and then blaming other people for it.
Case in point, a text conversation between the two. . .
I’m still going – him
And I’m still invited? – her
Of course – him
Do you have hiking boots? – him
Absolutely not – her
What size do you wear? – him
7 1/2, why? Do you think we wear the same size? – her
I’ll grab some. If you still want to go? – him
Dear GOD, are you trying to kick me out of this? – her
No, I just don’t want you to feel obligated – him
You haven’t made that clear – her
Is it clear now? – him
Clear-ER – her
I want you to come – him
Do you see my point? The man told the girl a million times that he wants her to go but not in the way she wanted him to so she created a whole fucked up scenario in her head. He said what the fuck he said. Now, her ass spent a whole day upset about nothing.
I should have been born a man because I’ll never understand this about females.
This wasn’t the only time she created problems in head that turned out to be completed unwarranted. There must have been at least fifteen more.
In her defense, I have had many men tell me that I think like a man so maybe that’s why my patience for females like this is slim. Maybe I should be more sweet. . . I’m actually really nice, I just wasn’t raised well.
I may have been able to overlook her whininess if she wasn’t so fucking judgemental of others throughout this whole book. Looking down on people because of the way they were dressed, the neighborhood they lived in, or where they liked to hang out. I can’t stand that shit. That just made everything she did annoy me.
Also, nothing was ever her fault, it was also somebody else’s. Like girl, if you keep having the same problems with different people then you’re most likely the problem.
I could keep going but I’m going to put the Karan-in-the-making bits to the side for a second.
The story itself was cute and I was completely sold from the synopsis. It is blatantly obvious that the author is a talented writer. I will give that to her. I am also very aware that most people really enjoyed this book which made me hesitant to write this review because I adore so many of those readers and bloggers.
I just can’t rock with judgemental women who look down on others in real life so it’s nearly impossible for me to do so within a book.
On the the important questions. . .
Do I recommend this book? IDK. A part of me wants to say yes because I didn’t like it but another part of me wants to say yes because so many of my friends really enjoyed.
Will I read another book by Emily Henry? No, I can’t risk running into anymore Karen’s.
I hope I didn’t get to messy because I know it wasn’t pretty.
Subscribe/Listen to my podcast