Ladies, please don’t be mad at me but I feel like I need to drop some knowledge on men. They seem to forget after awhile a very important thing in a relationship…

…what they did to get us they need to do to keep us.

That crazy a fuck sex we had at the beginning of our relationship needs to remain intact. Those sweet kisses they gave all the time, yeah, they need to keep that up too. This is why I want to remind them of what the fuck we like. I decided to keep it as simple as possible so I don’t confuse their little minds. I even added pics and gifs to help them out – you know they are visual learners.

Here are 5 Things Men Can Learn From Book Boyfriends…

1. Women like to be dominated every now and then. I don’t mean, slap us around and make us cook you dinner. I mean that, grab my ass and tell me where you want me shit. That gives us life! But don’t ask us if it’s okay to be rough, just do it. If you ask it’s no longer sexy to us. I suggest you grab a few of your girls favorite romance novels and see what she’s reading. I can almost guarantee that’s the way she wants to be fucked.

2. We love it when you get jealous, it’s just a different way of saying, “I love you.” or “You’re mine.” If you see a guy trying to get with us and you put him in his place… you’re getting the best blowjob of your life. We might even do that thing you’ve been wanting to do but we keep saying no. Go a little alpha male and you will see how much that turns us on.

3. Fuck flowers! We don’t want flowers as gift (unless it’s that new kind that comes in the box, we want those) we want those gifts that mean something to us. Any idiot can run to the grocery store or Target and buy a dozen roses, that’s so not original. If you know you’re girl likes Sour Skittles and the green ones are her favorite – go to the grocery store or Target, buy 6 bags of Skittles and give her all the green ones.. you are in. Public sex is in your near future.

4. Claim your woman in public. There is nothing sexier than a man who is ready to announce to the world how much they love us. A little PDA never hurt anybody, at least not me. Show us off like we are the best thing since bread. Show us off like we’re the fucking cure to cancer.

5. Coordination, coordination, coordination! Fellas, it is a must. I’m no angel and I will admit that I have had my fair share of men. I’ve had some really skilled ones and some really bad ones but the worst are those who have no coordination. You have to be able to multitask! Each kiss, lick, thrust or whatever needs to be purposeful. We hate being fucked by a jack rabbit.

So here is my suggestion… Put your big boy boxers on, pick up one of your girls romance novels, find as many sex scenes as possible, take some notes and put it to good use.

P.S. Don’t forget the cuddle, it’s very important. That tip was a freebie 🙂

P.S.S. We really do love that V… and you don’t know what that is, you’ve already lost.

TTYL…

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